I am scared

It's 2:09 and I'm still awake, as always. I just waved goodbye to Guo Hui who stopped by my block an hour ago because he was waiting for his friend to finish his shift. My twitter has quietened down and both my MSN kakis have signed out - That is really a good time to start my homework peacefully. Instead of starting on my tuition homework, I'm thinking of really ridiculous stuff.

I was thinking about how ridiculously I cried during the performance at Seeds of Yesterday event, without the knowledge of Melvyn and Wei Sian. I know I'd cry if I choose to SMS you during the performance, that was why I kept dragging my time. And yet, I chose to text because I need to get things off my chest.

Yeah, one of your texts was very, very disappointing.

Okay yes, but you did mentioned that your text wasn't the way I thought it was.

But, I'd just like to wonder what will happen if your text was real.

I smiled to myself when I re-read my text again, the one which included my rarely use of vulgarities. As you know, I don't use expletives. But yes, I blew my top because I thought you really meant it that way, and at some point in time, I really believed that our relationship was about to end at that very moment.

Thank God you clarified everything with me before I really do something stupid during the event.

You know baby, if you were to ever go away or leave me, I just... I just can't imagine how my life will be. I felt so scared when I read your text and I really thought that this was the end of our story, an outcome that I've never imagined or thought that it will happen to us. I really love you, I do, and I know that.

I don't want to be like anyone out there who has to lose first to cherish. )'=

Don't scare me like that anymore okay? I really hate you for doing that.